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“Sometimes to understand your present, you need to go back to the past. Many times it’s our childhood. For many of us that was a very painful and difficult period in our lives. Suffered from trauma and other harmful situations. From reading my file, I’ve learned rather confirmed DCFS failed me. There was verified sexual abuse…I’ve said this all my life. I’m 45 years old now. This happened from 7-9 years old. I also learned that I was a very young angry child who didn’t really trust adults. I’ve gone on to live a successful life by other’s standards but I’ve been angry. I didn’t realize I’ve been angry for most of my life. I knew I was angered easily and I could never pinpoint exactly where this anger was originating. I literally forgot or blocked out that period of my life from my mind. I was angry no one prosecuted that man when the file I’m viewing today clearly shows evidence – medical evidence that I was molested and yet he was still allowed to walk free. Still come to family visits, etc as if what he did was ok and that I was disposable. Not important enough to protect. I realized that I’ve carried that anger around for decades and had no idea until I opened the file and began to read. I had a light bulb moment. There are other things that I read about myself that were positive and are very much a part of my life and identity today. I’m still on my path toward healing and stopping self sabotaging behaviors. I had to go back to my past to heal my present and my future. Anger is a huge problem in my maternal and paternal sides. But I believe in god and he is merciful. I expect to get my healing and breakthrough. So In closing, this has been a process of revelation and a start to a total mind, body, soul healing and restoration.”